Friday, November 09, 2007

What do I LOOK FOR IN A FAMILY- a nanny's view

There are an awful lot of posts and articles out there for families about what to look for in a nanny. But the real truth of the matter is that there are far more families looking for nannies than the other way around. Nannies, when you go on an interview you should be interviewing the family while they are interviewing you! It is essential that you find a family that you “fit” with. A family that will be comfortable for you to work with and with whom you can communicate. When I am out on an interview there are some very specific things I watch for. Here are a few
§ Does the family make arrangements for the kids for the first interview? It is impossible to properly interview with kids in the room. You should have at least one interview where you can talk about employment issues like pay, vacation and such. Also, it is hard to discuss philosophy of childcare when kids are in the room. A family that knows this will understand that the relationship you have with your employers is as important as your relationship with the kids.
§ Does the family have another interview with time to interact with the kids? Chemistry is key. Never work for a family if you cannot connect with the kids. It won’t last.
§ Is the atmosphere of the home one that you are comfortable with? Are they impossibly neat? Are you? Are they undtidy? Will this drive you crazy? Look around for clues as to the way they keep their home. If you are a organizing demon and they have stacks of things everywhere this should be a red flag!
§ Can I talk to them? Many nannies- really most I think- are not that assertive when it comes to tough conversations. If I am nervous talking to them at an interview- I won’t be able to bring up that vacation time they owe me or the other rough things we have to talk about.
§ Are they looking for a nanny like me? Are they looking for someone to be there for a long time and I know I only want to work here for a year- not a good sign. Do they want someone who will check in with them often but I am used to being on my own for the day- again not a good fit.
§ Do they ask pertinent questions? Nothing like going to an interview and being asked questions from the interview guide book- what are your discipline philosophies? What was your parenting like as a child? Those questions are good- but serious families ask more in depth questions that follow up anwers that I have already given
§ Do they treat me as a professional? The only way to tell this is by the questions they ask and the tone of the interview. But if you are looking for it- you will know. Do they ask you childcare questions? Do they make sure you are paid legally? Do they offer the benefits you deseve?
Finding a family is a difficult process. But like I always tell mothers who ask for advice finding nannies- trust your gut. If you don’t feel a connection with the family move on. The relationship is a difficult one already!
-- Sue Downey

Monday, November 05, 2007

Why nannies get fired-- a list

TOP 12 REASONS NANNIES ARE FIREDAnd who is responsible (contributed by nannies, parents, agency owners)
15. (Parent) Parent realizes that nanny care is more expensive than day care, and switches.
14. (Nanny) Listening to inappropriate music ( with violent, sexualized, or profane language), watching inappropriate television or using inappropriate language with the children.
13 (No fault, but could have been avoided with communication before job began) Nanny has lifestyle to which parents don’t want children exposed (religious differences, dating outside of race or inside of gender, wearing tattoos, etc.).
12. (Nanny) Showing lack of initiative and failure to plan age appropriate activities for the children
11. (Nanny) Showing lack of respect for employers’ home and property: Parents finding the house worse off than when they left to go to work, or live-in nanny keeping her room (and the house) dirty and messy.
10. (Nanny) Failure to bond with the children, sometimes including using yelling or other authoritative style that intimidates them.
9. (?) Nanny is in car accident, whether or not it is her fault, during her own time or during work hours, with or without children in the car.
8. (Nanny) Staying out and drinking and/or partying so late the night before, that nanny is unable to be alert and responsive to the children during her scheduled hours. (Live-in, usually)
7. (Nanny) Excessive on duty time spent on personal tasks such as internet surfing, telephone calls, television watching.
6. (Nanny) Failure to comply with parents expressed wishes on issues such as nutrition (feeding them fast food), discipline (undermining parents’ rules) and safety (using cell phone while driving, not using car seat, etc.). Also, failure to follow through on other issues the parents have talked with the nanny about.
5. (Nanny) "Threatening the Mom" by the nanny allowing the little ones to call her "Mommy", or through an "I'm a better mommy than you" attitude.
4 (Parent) Insecure mom, who has unresolved conflicts about letting someone else take care of her kids (the nanny is fired for being a great nanny and having a close relationship with the kids, or having any tiny flaw that the mother can use to believe she’s not good enough).
3. (Nanny) Being undependable: being habitually late or absent (even with notice) during scheduled work hours. (Parent) Or, nanny needing time off for surgery or recovery from an injury.
2, (Parent) Nanny giving generous notice about leaving the job, parent firing nanny immediately or well before notice period ends. (Parents often feel betrayed and vengeful when nannies plan to leave.)
1. (Nanny and Parent) Lack of communication, which leads to confusion about nanny duties and responsiblities, and any number of other issues.

compiled by Jan St Clair