Tuesday, August 11, 2009

AU Pair vs. Nanny Care

In today’s difficult economic climate, families choosing in-home childcare are taking a closer look at their nanny v. au pair option. Several recent articles have spotlighted the recent changes in-home care market, noting the tougher sell highly paid nannies are facing and the growing number of au pairs being placed in the United States.

It’s tempting to be swayed by the cost savings of hiring an au pair but families should do their homework and really think about what option will work best for their family.

Although nannies and au pairs are often portrayed as different sides of the same coin, with au pairs being a less expensive, foreign version of the American nanny, there are substantial differences between the two. Lora Brawley, President of the National Association for Nanny Care said, “Both nanny care and au pair care provide quality childcare. The big difference lies in the focus. Nanny care’s primary focus is childcare while au pair care’s primary focus is cultural exchange. Nannies take a nanny job to earn a living doing something they love and are passionate about. Au pairs take a placement because they want to experience the world and are happy to pay for that experience by providing childcare. One isn’t inherently better than the other. But these two different perspectives result in two very different experiences for the caregivers and the families they work with.”

Host families that participate in the au pair program are required to provide a home environment for their au pairs and treat them as a member of the family. Parents are required to provide au pairs with educational and cultural opportunities, private room and board, $500 educational stipend, 2 weeks paid vacation, at least one full weekend off per month and a weekly stipend of around $180 per week.

In exchange, au pairs provide up to 10 hours of childcare each day or 45 hours of childcare each week. Au pairs are not allowed to do family-related or household management tasks such as family laundry, family meal preparation or taking a family car in for service.

In contrast, families choosing nanny care are employers. They decide on the details of the job and then hire a caregiver able to fill those needs. There are no parameters placed on the length of employment, number of hours, the responsibilities or the type of relationship between caregiver

and parent. One of the biggest selling points of nanny care is that parents get to customize their childcare / household solution.

So which is the better choice? That depends upon your family’s personality, lifestyle, needs and offerings.

Au pair care might be a great choice for your family if you…

• are excited about opening up your home and lives to a young adult and happy to support their interest in cultural and educational opportunities.

• are committed to embracing the au pair as “part of the family”. Although au pair agencies do provide au pairs with some support and social interaction, it’s the host family’s responsibility to make the newcomer feel welcomed and supported throughout their time here. Host families are asked to share family meals, activities and vacations with their au pair as they would a visiting family member.

• simply need a “second pair of hands”. Since au pairs can only work up to 45 hours a week and can only be given limited tasks they are best suited for parents that work a part-time schedule, a light, flexible full-time schedule or who need before / after school help.

• want your children to be exposed to another language and culture through first-hand experiences with a foreign national.

• value the opportunity for your children to connect with many caregivers over the years.

However, nanny care would be the best choice for you if…

• you have an infant or toddler. Au pairs are not allowed to care for infants without a responsible adult present and must receive additional training to care for toddlers.

• your child has special needs. Au pairs are not allowed to work with even high functioning children with special needs.

• you need childcare more than 45 hour per week. Add up working hours,commute time and any additional time like date night or client dinners to get an accurate estimate of how much childcare you really need.

• you want long term, consistent care. While having a nanny doesn’t guarantee this, having an au pair guarantees against this. Effective screening can help you find a caregiver that’s in it for the long haul and will work well with your family as it changes over the years.

• you’re looking for a higher level of care. In general, a well trained au pair offers the same level of care an entry level nanny does. While this is a perfect match for some families, many other families are looking for a caregiver with more education, more experience or a stronger skill set.

• you’re looking for a household partner that will help you take care of the details of day to day life – grocery shopping, family laundry, errands, calling the repairman, fill-in-the-blank - leaving you the time and energy to enjoy your kids.


Whether you choose nanny care or au pair care, become an educated consumer before paying any fees or making any placement choices. The safety and well being of your children are well worth the time and energy needed to make the right choice.

- from our newsletter July 2009

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

a 3rd parent?

I have to start this post by saying, this is not the official position of NANC. This is my opinion and I am not proposing that you will agree. It is simply the way I look at it.

Ok- in trying to define what a "nanny" is many people say they are the third parent. This bothers me for some reason. I am not a parent. Don't get me wrong, these kids are mine. But I do not let them call me mom. I know some nannies who do. I know some nannies feel that they are the third parent and I respect many of these nannies and the work they do. But I don't want to be a parent. I feel that as nannies we are a part of the team- but the buck stops with the parents. Sometimes the parents are wrong. Really wrong. But we despite all our best efforts and training, parents are going to make mistakes with their kids. It has happened since the beginning of time. And while I do not believe in being silent about my opinion that is based on years of training and experience, here is the thing, sometimes I am wrong too. So when all is said and done, the parents have the ultimate say.

I am willing to be...
and advocate for the children
a friend to the children
a listener
a teacher
a driver
a cook
a guidance counselor
sometimes even a maid
but I am not willing to be a parent. A child needs their parents.
And let's face it- as much as I would want to stay, there is going to be a day when I must leave. It is better to say good bye to a nanny than to say good bye to a parent.

I know there are many full charge nannies who will not agree. And that is good as there are parents out there who want to "hand over the keys" as it were and let the nannies drive. Maybe these nannies are more like parents. But I still struggle with that way of defining ourselves.

What do you think?

-Sue Downey