The most wonderful time of the year....

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Can you hear the song and see the commercial where the dad is dancing through Staples? Back to school time is great for some nannies and difficult for others whose work hours and responsibilities may change. Still other nannies have kids too young for school so all this excitement passes them by.

After living so many years in the school calendar though, the thing about September is that it really is the START of the year for me. I started my last 4 jobs in September. It just feels like the beginning for me, even when I have charges too young to go off to school.

Once school starts it is a great time to sit down and speak with your employers. See where they are with the way things are going. What goals do you share for the kids this school year? After the long days of summer it feels good to get back to a schedule, a routine and some structure.

September is a great time to re evaluate your goals. Look over those new year's resolutions and see if you have achieved what you set out to do. If not, you still have time. Do some self evaluation and figure out where you can improve and pat yourself on the back for the things you are doing well.

What is it really that you hope to accomplish in '09-'10 ?

AU Pair vs. Nanny Care

In today’s difficult economic climate, families choosing in-home childcare are taking a closer look at their nanny v. au pair option. Several recent articles have spotlighted the recent changes in-home care market, noting the tougher sell highly paid nannies are facing and the growing number of au pairs being placed in the United States.

It’s tempting to be swayed by the cost savings of hiring an au pair but families should do their homework and really think about what option will work best for their family.

Although nannies and au pairs are often portrayed as different sides of the same coin, with au pairs being a less expensive, foreign version of the American nanny, there are substantial differences between the two. Lora Brawley, President of the National Association for Nanny Care said, “Both nanny care and au pair care provide quality childcare. The big difference lies in the focus. Nanny care’s primary focus is childcare while au pair care’s primary focus is cultural exchange. Nannies take a nanny job to earn a living doing something they love and are passionate about. Au pairs take a placement because they want to experience the world and are happy to pay for that experience by providing childcare. One isn’t inherently better than the other. But these two different perspectives result in two very different experiences for the caregivers and the families they work with.”

Host families that participate in the au pair program are required to provide a home environment for their au pairs and treat them as a member of the family. Parents are required to provide au pairs with educational and cultural opportunities, private room and board, $500 educational stipend, 2 weeks paid vacation, at least one full weekend off per month and a weekly stipend of around $180 per week.

In exchange, au pairs provide up to 10 hours of childcare each day or 45 hours of childcare each week. Au pairs are not allowed to do family-related or household management tasks such as family laundry, family meal preparation or taking a family car in for service.

In contrast, families choosing nanny care are employers. They decide on the details of the job and then hire a caregiver able to fill those needs. There are no parameters placed on the length of employment, number of hours, the responsibilities or the type of relationship between caregiver

and parent. One of the biggest selling points of nanny care is that parents get to customize their childcare / household solution.

So which is the better choice? That depends upon your family’s personality, lifestyle, needs and offerings.

Au pair care might be a great choice for your family if you…

• are excited about opening up your home and lives to a young adult and happy to support their interest in cultural and educational opportunities.

• are committed to embracing the au pair as “part of the family”. Although au pair agencies do provide au pairs with some support and social interaction, it’s the host family’s responsibility to make the newcomer feel welcomed and supported throughout their time here. Host families are asked to share family meals, activities and vacations with their au pair as they would a visiting family member.

• simply need a “second pair of hands”. Since au pairs can only work up to 45 hours a week and can only be given limited tasks they are best suited for parents that work a part-time schedule, a light, flexible full-time schedule or who need before / after school help.

• want your children to be exposed to another language and culture through first-hand experiences with a foreign national.

• value the opportunity for your children to connect with many caregivers over the years.

However, nanny care would be the best choice for you if…

• you have an infant or toddler. Au pairs are not allowed to care for infants without a responsible adult present and must receive additional training to care for toddlers.

• your child has special needs. Au pairs are not allowed to work with even high functioning children with special needs.

• you need childcare more than 45 hour per week. Add up working hours,commute time and any additional time like date night or client dinners to get an accurate estimate of how much childcare you really need.

• you want long term, consistent care. While having a nanny doesn’t guarantee this, having an au pair guarantees against this. Effective screening can help you find a caregiver that’s in it for the long haul and will work well with your family as it changes over the years.

• you’re looking for a higher level of care. In general, a well trained au pair offers the same level of care an entry level nanny does. While this is a perfect match for some families, many other families are looking for a caregiver with more education, more experience or a stronger skill set.

• you’re looking for a household partner that will help you take care of the details of day to day life – grocery shopping, family laundry, errands, calling the repairman, fill-in-the-blank - leaving you the time and energy to enjoy your kids.

Whether you choose nanny care or au pair care, become an educated consumer before paying any fees or making any placement choices. The safety and well being of your children are well worth the time and energy needed to make the right choice.

- from our newsletter July 2009

a 3rd parent?

I have to start this post by saying, this is not the official position of NANC. This is my opinion and I am not proposing that you will agree. It is simply the way I look at it.

Ok- in trying to define what a "nanny" is many people say they are the third parent. This bothers me for some reason. I am not a parent. Don't get me wrong, these kids are mine. But I do not let them call me mom. I know some nannies who do. I know some nannies feel that they are the third parent and I respect many of these nannies and the work they do. But I don't want to be a parent. I feel that as nannies we are a part of the team- but the buck stops with the parents. Sometimes the parents are wrong. Really wrong. But we despite all our best efforts and training, parents are going to make mistakes with their kids. It has happened since the beginning of time. And while I do not believe in being silent about my opinion that is based on years of training and experience, here is the thing, sometimes I am wrong too. So when all is said and done, the parents have the ultimate say.

I am willing to be...

and advocate for the children

a friend to the children

a listener

a teacher

a driver

a cook

a guidance counselor

sometimes even a maid

but I am not willing to be a parent. A child needs their parents.

And let's face it- as much as I would want to stay, there is going to be a day when I must leave. It is better to say good bye to a nanny than to say good bye to a parent.

I know there are many full charge nannies who will not agree. And that is good as there are parents out there who want to "hand over the keys" as it were and let the nannies drive. Maybe these nannies are more like parents. But I still struggle with that way of defining ourselves.

What do you think?

-Sue Downey

delicate moments

All nannies have them. 

• You walk into the kitchen in the morning and you can feel the chill in the air. Mom is not talking to Dad and everyone is being extra nice to the kids. 
  
• Or you call Mom and she obviously has not talked to Dad about something important and now you are left breaking the news. 
  
• Or Grandma comes to visit and she does not know many things about how the home is run. You are the listening post as she complains about how Mom and Dad do things. 
  

These are just a few of those situations. There are so many more. And as a live in, the awkward moments can be pretty intense. I have had conversations with Mom's who are blow drying their hair in a bra. Not your usual workplace scenario. 

Nannies work in private homes. We are family, but not family. We are employees, but so much more. These situations are not ones you can take a class to learn about. And really there are no rules when it comes to dealing with them. I struggle with these kinds of situations all the time and I have been in the biz for more than 15 years. Like so much about our jobs, these delicate situations are so uniquely personal to the families and so intensely PRIVATE there is no where to go for advice. So how do you cope? Are there any hard and fast rules for these "delicate moments?"

feel free to share... but please do not post any specifics or names!! 

The words we choose

Most nannies at one point or another say the phrase..

"Watch your language!" 

Usually we are dealing with an attitude filled pre teen, or perhaps a toddler talking back. Children strive for independence and language is a tool that they wield powerfully, but sometimes inappropriately. 

Yet effective language is a tool that we as nannies do not often pull out of our arsenal when working with our employers. 

All too often nannies complain of a being treated unprofessionally. Some nannies are micromanaged, or treated like babysitters just there to keep the kid safe until mom and dad get home. And while this is fine for many caregivers, most nannies are much more than that to the children they care for. We plan activities, stimulate language, develop motor skills. We worry about socialization, brain development, and teaching kids manners, responsibility. Not to mention the ABC's, state capitals and the life of an average garden worm. We are educators. 

But when parents arrive home, do we say, "Today I provided stimulation for your infant's social emotional skills by playing peek a boo. We also went outside where we enjoyed some tactile stimulation. I developed his sense of attachment and well being by keeping him on schedule and cuddling him after his nap. And I made sure that he was provided with the proper fats in his diet to help develop his myelin sheath which is so important for his neurons." 

Well of course not, as that would be quite a mouth full every day! But do you use terms like "emotional development, tactile stimulation, attachment"? Do you explain to parents in some way the importance of the play dates you schedule for your 3 year old? Do you discuss brain development, or learning styles? Do you share professional articles and resources that you spend time studying? 

Nannies often ask me what they can do when a parent doesn't listen to them. Nothing. Well, almost nothing. You can't make someone listen to you. But you can in fact, keep altering the WAY you speak to the parents so that they will perhaps HEAR you. Use those professional words whenever you can. Write out a lesson plan or a daily journal and EXPLAIN in educational terms what you are doing and why. The words we choose make a difference. Not only will your employers begin to treat you more professionally, but you will also be sharing your knowledge with them and that is great for those charges you love so much! 

Planning for Nannypalooza

Nannypalooza 09 will be held in Washington DC. We made this change due to overwhelming feedback that to keep it in Philly year after year was "boring" and "not fair". I had some misgivings about planning a conference when I could not go and see things for myself. I live in the Philly area and so it was easy for me to drive to check out hotels and to connect with speakers etc.. 

So this weekend I made the trip down to Bethesda to check out what we are now committed to. First stop - our new conference center. We found REALLY great rates with a much more reasonable guarantee policy at the 4H conference center. This center used to be used for 4H groups to come and have retreats, meetings, etc.. Now with 4H more spread out all over the country, the center is available for other groups to use. It is a beautiful campus. Driving in, you feel as though you are heading onto a small, college campus. There is plenty of FREE parking around the back of the main building. Then you enter and go upstairs to the main foyer of the building. This is where we will probably have registration. 

Our main room is right off the lobby. Then we will have 2 breakout rooms and a larger room for vendors down the hallway and in a more private area. There are large couches to relax on and plenty of space to socialize. The center also has a recreation area/game room with computers, air hockey, vending machines, a large tv and couches in the basement. This will be a great space to chat with friends. (it feels a little like your parents' rec room!) There is WIFI access throughout the center. 

Breakfasts will be offered in the cafeteria which is a short walk across the driveway from the main building where we will be. The cafeteria is huge and has so many choices for foods. They have a waffle bar!! 

It was a great space and will be a great fit for OUR conference. It is not fancy, but it is nice. It is relaxed and not at all stuffy. It has a youthful vibe but does not feel like Chuck E Cheese! And most of all there is plenty of space for us! 

Check back for info on Bethesda and the Doubletree Hotel!! 

Unleash Your Inner Safety Goddess
By Britt Michaelian, M.A.
Author of Secrets of the Safety Goddess:
A Modern Safety Guide for Busy Parents

Doesn't it just sound euphoric to think about unleashing your inner goddess? How about unleashing your inner Safety Goddess? Ok, well maybe not as euphoric, but still a pretty enticing idea, right?

Today, you are going to find out 5 things you can do to tap into your inner Safety Goddess. The good news is that she is inside every one of us, if we choose to tap into her. The trick is knowing how...

When a mother takes home her first baby from the hospital, she is sent home with some diapers, a blanket and usually a bag of goodies with such things as a sample of baby shampoo, a tube of diaper rash ointment and coupons for diapers.

Unfortunately, there is no instruction book that comes home with our new baby because every baby is different. If you are lucky, you may have a very hands-on grandmother to help you manage your little one. However, the reality is that no matter how much mother's intuition you are blessed with and no matter how wonderful a caregiver you can possibly be, safety knowledge is not something we are born with. It is learned. So, educating yourself about child safety now is essential.

With the #1 cause of death in children being preventable injuries, it is our job as loving parents to educate ourselves about potential hazards, safety precautions and preferred actions to take in an emergency, if we want to keep our little bambinos safe!

Here are 5 steps you can take right now to tap into safety bliss:

Safety Goddesses, unleash!

1. Take annual CPR and First Aid courses through the American Red Cross or the American Heart Association.
2. Childproof your child and your home. Make sure that your windows have guards and locks, safety gates are installed at stairways, electrical outlets are covered, chemicals and cosmetics are out of reach and all other hazards are corrected. Communicate with your child about things that are dangerous and use protective gear and helmets when participating in wheeled activities.
3. Install, test and utilize your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors on every level of your home.
4. Supervise your children with the 5/10 rule: Never let a child under 5 out of your site for longer than 5 seconds and never let a child be more than 10 feet away from you. Expand the time to 10/20 for children between 5 and 9 years old. Supervision is essential for children of all ages!
5. Read child safety books, watch safety videos and regularly educate yourself with the latest recall information and safety news.

Speaking from experience, once I started reading about child safety, I got addicted. There is simply no end to the information you can find that will help you be a prepared and informed caregiver. Safety is a topic that you can never know too much about because the world is always changing, which means safety is too!

Now that you have let your inner Safety Goddess out to play, tap into safety at least once a month. Sign up for my Safety Pop newsletter, check out the Consumer Product Safety Commission Recall list, test your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors and sign up for those CPR classes.

Then, keep the ball rolling on safety. Start with you and move on to your community. One great way to promote safety is to pass it along as a gift. For under $20, you can purchase a copy of Secrets of the Safety Goddess: A Modern Safety Guide for Busy Parents or Care for Kids: The Essential Guide to Preparing Caregivers on Amazon.com and give a meaningful gift to a parent, teacher or nanny. If we can spread the message about the Safety Goddess to all of our fellow parents and caregivers, our children will be safer at playdates, school and in life. Now that sounds euphoric!



To find out more about child safety, go to http://SafetyGoddess.com and http://ResponsibleFamily.com

Year End Bonus?

As 2008 draws to a close many things are on our to do lists. Gift to buy, parties to go to, thanks to many who make our lives manageable. Your child's caregivers and teachers are probably on that list. But this year, with the economy so uncertain, you may find you are cutting back on those year end envelopes of joy. 

Nannies- that is to be a little bit expected. But that doesn't lessen the sting. Much like the dad in the Christmas Vacation movie, many of us expect that holiday bonus. We count on it especially if we have been with a family for more than a year and have gotten a bonus in years past. And in these stressful times, a nanny is often working late, filling in when needed and offering to help out more than normal. When the holiday envelope doesn't arrive, or is less than expected, hurt feelings can ruin what has  been a great thing for everyone. 

SO what are you to do? My advice is to remember what a difference a nanny can make in your life and remember that communication is key. If you want to keep a great nanny, you should really make it a priority to show your appreciation. If you are cutting back across the board on all holiday spending, let your nanny know. Explain that these sacrifices must be made but you would like to show your appreciation in another way. Offer and extra day off, a few late mornings that you can calendar throughout the year, some frequent flier miles, or other bonuses that don't cost you much but will make a big differences to the nanny. Show that age old mantra we preach to the kids is true, it is the thought that counts. Find a creative way to show that you care. Most of all don't be afraid to talk to each other. If you can find a way to discuss these touchy subjects, it will make all the difference in how you weather these tough times. 

The toughest part of this is how we, as nannies react. It can be almost impossible to not notice that they are spending tens of thousands of dollars on expensive gifts but then ask you to not take a bonus. And all too often we are counting on the bonus to pay for our traveling or gifts for this season instead of it being a true "bonus". Talk to your family and let them know how you feel. Don't let resentment or anger build. And remember, unless it is written in your contract, a end of the year bonus is not promised, even if you have gotten one before. When you do get a bonus, make sure to appreciate that this year, more than ever, it really means a lot! 

Sue Downey

Why nanny care IS an affordable choice for some

With the economy crashing and people tightening belts, much has been made about the fact that nanny care is expensive. And it is. It is certainly more than putting one baby in day care. However, for some families nanny care is truly a value. If a family has 3 kids in day care, a nanny can actually be less expensive. And the care happens in your home, with no commute to a center before and after work. Flexibility is a crucial advantage of nanny care. Many working parents work long hours, often racing to gather kids as centers close. Also, coming home to kids as opposed to picking them up can make all the difference for moms and dads who look forward all day to spending time with their children. In today's economy many professionals work non traditional hours, making nanny care essential. In addition, nannies often lighten the load around the home. Most nannies are willing to help with a few non child related tasks, shopping, starting dinner, picking up dry cleaning etc.. 

Certainly, nanny care is not for everyone. But I hope that today's parents don't discount the option and the many benefits just because some think the price tag is high. I know plenty of moms who come home to dinner on the stove, kids coloring quietly and a friendly smile from someone who just wants to make life easier for the family. It is hard to put a price tag on that in any economy. 

Sue Downey

Is the economy affecting nannies and daycare centers?

I have to believe that, with a resounding Yes, they are. Childcare is probably one of the most expensive costs to families, and I have to think that especially for nanny care, which sometimes comes with the added expense of healthcare, mileage and gas money, and extras that are provided to nannies.

And another cost of nannies, which parents seem to slowly be catching onto? Household-employment taxes. People who pay household workers more than $1,600 a year are required to file the necessary paperwork, consisting of Medicare and Social Security taxes, unemployment insurance - federal and state - and other state and local taxes, and this is often a tedious process. But by escaping these taxes, some nannies may be losing out on services and a safety net, according to an article in the Wall Street Journal today about parents avoiding "the nanny tax." The cause of this is due, in part anyway, to huge growth of parents hiring nannies from internet sites. From the article:

In the past, parents more often hired full-time nannies through brick-and-mortar agencies, which often exerted armtwisting to persuade both parents and nannies to pay taxes...An estimated 30% to 50% of nanny hires are now done online, up from about 10% five years ago. In general, that may lead to "doing things a little more casually," says Monica Fleming, president of GoNannies.com, an employment site.


So it would seem that while using the internet to obtain a great, trusting nanny would be convienent and safe in today's world, it might actually be allowing for less tax revenue and a safety net for the nanny?

What do you think of this? How do you think nannies and/or childcare centers have been or will be affected by the economy?

-Katie Conrad

New book helps to keep kids safe!

At Nannypalooza this year we were very honored to have New York City child abuse and sex crimes prosecutor Jill Starishevsky come and speak to us. She also owns the website How'sMyNanny.com. Jill's mission in life is keeping kids safe, and specifically she wants to keep children safe from sexual predators. I learned quite a few things in her presentation, not the least of which was to never teach a child to keep "secrets" as this is the first thing a predator will use as a way to keep the abuse silent. (Use the word surprise instead.) 

Jill recently published a new, groundbreaking book that I believe will save kids' lives. It is called My Body Belongs to Me. This book is a poem that will help start the conversation about personal safety. It is very brave and amazing. The one part of the book that is very specific about abuse, that very gently, but very clearly explains to a child that it is not ok for someone to touch you in places your swimsuit covers, was the part of the book that publishers wanted her to change or delete. But Jill knows from her dedicated work with the city of New York that keeping kids in the dark will not protect them. Keeping secrets is not good for anyone when it comes to abuse. 

I strongly recommend checking this out! 

www.MyBodyBelongsToMe.com

NANC in the news

Nannypalooza got a mention on the Today Show on Oct. 30th. Watch the story here! 
The story is about affordable child care and parent's search for "Mary Poppins"

Niche Nannies

A Niche Nanny is a nanny who specializes in a type of care that is specific. For example, there are infant specialists who care for newborns. These nannies have special training, years of experience and a special talent for dealing with newborns and their parents. Infant Specialists often spend 24/7 with a family for the first few weeks of a baby's life in order to provide the best care for the whole family. There are many kinds of niche nannies. Nannies who specialize in care for autistic or special needs families for example. These nannies also have a wealth of training and experience. But even if your needs are more basic finding a nanny that has experience with twins, or a nanny who has experience dealing with divorce can make all the difference for you. 

This trend is great for nannies as it allows them to market themselves to families and makes them more employable. It also allows them to command higher salaries. It is great for families as it offers up nannies with more training and specialized knowledge that will help them meet their specific needs. 

The thing about any nanny situation is that it is most successful when the nanny and family have a good fit. When the nanny and family match needs, talents, temperaments, and personalities. In that sense every nanny is looking for his or her "niche". 

Sue Downey

Economic hard times for nannies

The news is hitting everyone. The economy is bad and things are tough. For nannies, whose income is tied to the income of others (the more a family makes the more they can afford to pay for childcare) the situation is not looking good. Recently there was this article in the Wall Street Journal Five Ways to Save on Child-Care Costs - WSJ.com. This article suggest nanny sharing as one way to get high quality care while not taking out a second mortgage on your home. It also talks about how to handle it if you have to cut your nanny's salary.

As a nanny who has worked for a family for more than 7 years I can't imagine what that conversation will feel like. "Yes, I need you to do the same job, work the same hours, and get paid less." However, my employer works in the financial industry and she is probably going to make less this year. She is working just as hard and just as many hours if not more! So I started thinking about it and here is how I would like the conversation to go. 

1. If you have to pay me less, or even give me less for bonuses and extras please tell me about it. Talking about these things is awkward but it does make it better in the long run. 

2. Make me a part of the team. If I know you are cutting corners then it will be easier for me to take the hit. 

3. If I am loyal now and take the pay cut with grace and dignity, please remember me later when things get better. 

4. If you have to cut back think of things you can do for your nanny that will help her weather the storm. Do you have internet she can use? Can you share frequent flier miles, credit card bonus points, or other perks that don't cost you a thing but that can mean everything to someone who may be living check to check? These things show that you care. And really that is what is important to convey. 

Sue Downey (nanny) 

Contracts between nannies and families

Should nannies and families sign contracts? Do you think they help in spelling out responsibilities and rules? Do they help with issues that may be brought up later - as in, just refer to the contract you've signed to work out a problem? Or should nannies and families play it by ear, see how things go and adjust as necessary?

I worked as a nanny for 1.5 years, and never signed a contract with the family. I was under the impression that we would sign one upon my starting, but it never happened. I never really thought much about it, because we had a great system going, and any issues that came up were addressed immediately. However, there was one important contract we both signed through the agency, and we didn't realize until months later the real problem with that.

The family used an agency to find me, and one day the mom and I were talking about that agency, and apparently we both got very different definitions of our "contract" from them. See, I was aware of a contract through the agency that found me, and I signed it because it was spelled out to me. The rule of that contract was that I was not to open a business like the nanny agency within 150 miles of her business. That was a very easy contract to sign as I knew that would never be an issue. The mom of the family I cared for was under the impression that the contract she and I both signed separately stated that I, as the nanny, would be responsible for paying the family's fee if I backed out of the position before our agreed-upon 1 year agreement was up.

While this never became an issue between the family and myself, as I stayed with them for longer than a year, it definitely clarified the use of contracts...MAKE SURE YOU BOTH SIGN THE SAME AGREEMENT!

Katie Conrad

Nannypalooza

Last weekend, Oct 4 and 5th, we held our third conference Nannypalooza. The idea behind this conference was to create a place where nannies of all levels could come and get training at an affordable price. AND that it could be fun and professional all at the same time. 

As nannies we know that by making learning fun more can be accomplished. Nannies are often very isolated in their positions. They can feel like they have little support and depending on their relationship with their employers, it is possible that they don't have any support. Bringing nannies together from all skill levels and from all geographic areas is so important for so many reasons. Supporting each other is one of the most crucial. 

The conference was once again a huge success, bringing together nannies of every level and agencies of every size to meet each other and learn. The sessions were overall very well received and the atmosphere was fun and welcoming. 

Next year we are looking to move the conference from the Philly area to another location. I hope we can continue to bring high quality content to nannies and agencies while having a good time. 

Posted by Sue Downey

The Nanny-Mother Relationship

Should a nanny be a part of the family or should she/he remain stricty business?

 

I have heard both ends of the spectrum on this issue. I had the pleasure of being immediately accepted as family when I first came to nanny. I was grateful for this because I was 1,200 miles from home and a little nervous. The family was very accommodating, allowing me to put my favored foods onto the grocery list and occassional personal items if necessary. I was also given gas money weekly, and wherever I took the kids I was given money or re-imbursed. The mother of the 3 fabulous kids also helped me find a doctor, dentist, pharmacist, and helped me switch my car and health insurance policies.

 

I worked for a very laid-back family, where it was even acceptable for me to take personal calls at the house or on my cell phone. I was given time to run errands during the business day if necessary, and occassionally a friend stopped by to play with the kids, or to pick up a forgotten item.

 

I cannot complain about the environment in which I worked. Actually, the fact that it was so laid back made me want to NOT endulge in those opportunities out of respect. I rarely accepted personal calls, unless from family, and I tried to make doctors and hair appointments on my day off or early in the morning. In the very beginning, when I did not know a soul in my new town, on my days off I would take the kids with me to discover the town. Our relationship worked very well because everything was laid out in the beginning. I did my job,  and thus few problems occurred. I still have a great relationship with the family for which I nannied, including the parents.

 

I have heard of some rough stories. And really, the media (remember The Nanny Diaries?) likes to play on the bad relationships between mothers and nannies. I think that if both parties really just concentrate on their number one priority - the children - the relationship works, whatever way it naturally flows. I have also heard, and I do think it is a common belief that there is a complete lack of communication between mothers and nannies, which can lead to jealousy and resentment.

 

What has been your experience? And is the media portrayal correct? How can mothers and nannies overcome problems?

 -- Katie Conrad

 

Nannies and Sick Days

 

Should nannies have paid sick days?

 

Most employees do, why shouldn't nannies? Isn't it pretty likely that nannies who get sick got it from one of the little ones? And if they didn't, who do you think will get it next? Nannies are employees too, and they do deserve sick days.

 

I saw a post awhile back on The Juggle, a Wall Street Journal blog about Nannies/Caregivers and paid sick days, and it really got me thinking. Most nannies, when using sick days, are truly sick and need the day off. I don't know that many nannies, but I don't image it's very common for nannies to abuse sick time. (Correct me if i'm wrong.) If they are abusing it, they should not be your nanny.

 

I don't remember how many sick days I used - one? two? - but I was certainly offered them, especially one time upon returning from the doctor's office and I was told to take a sick day (I must have looked pretty bad!) I just really think it is the right think to do - paid sick days should be available to everyone. Especially childcare providers.

 

Interestingly, out of over 60 comments on that post I read, only 3 comments came from nannies or former nannies. The rest were from parents who employ nannies, most of whom stated that they offer paid sick time in addition to decent salary and in some cases, vacation time. But I've heard some stories of nannies not being treated well at all.

 

Here is a link to the article- wall_street_journal_blog

Nannies, sound off.

---Katie Conrad

The Joys of Being a Nanny

The Joys of Being a Nanny

 

- When you are supervising homework time and she finally says, "I DID IT!" and beams as she shows you her work.

- When they were asked to draw a picture of the family and you are included in the drawing. (How sweet, right?)

- When you go to the driving range at the golf course and the kids are so much better than you that you don't have to try to let them win!

- When they leave you notes under your bedroom door because they missed you overnight.

- When they make an egg breakfast for you! And it tastes delicious!

- When they are able to show you how the science experiment works!

- When you take them trick-or-treating and after going through their stash of candy say, "you can have this Reese's Cup, I know they are your favorite" and you know that they will never have a problem sharing.

- When you walk in on them reading a book to their little sister and making the animal sounds in the book!

- When asked "what did you learn in school today?" and they say anything other than "nothing." **

- When they come home from school with an A+ test and thank you for helping them study.

-When you tuck them in at night and they give you a kiss and say they love you!

 

 

** Nannies, if you don't already, ask your charges "what did you learn in school today?" after school each day. I found that it makes them think about what they did and gets them talking about school after the bell rings. Most of the time they will remember this stuff too, so you are helping them retain their knowledge.

 

What are your joys of being a nanny?

 --Katie Conrad