Friday, November 24, 2006

Giving Thanks

I fell into being a nanny. I was looking for a "real" job and needed something to tide me over. So I begin working for a temp nanny agency. Providing sick child care, filling in for vacationing caregivers and finally taking an after school position with a single dad and his 15 year old daughter. After a few months of working as a part-time nanny, I realized that this nanny thing might be just what I was looking for - a job that allowed me the time and money to go back to school and finish my business degree. So I took a nanny job on the East coast, was surprised by how much I loved being a nanny and after a semester of business classes, remembered why I left school to begin with. So much for my plan.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2006. Much of what I'm grateful for this week comes from my work as a nanny. I do work that I love and that is important, I've developed wonderful relationships with kids that I would have never known otherwise (what a loss that would have been!!) and I've met many of my closest friends though a nanny network. Not bad for, what seemed at the time, to be a failed plan of action.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. And I hope that we all continue to take "wrong turns" that point us in the right direction!

Lora Brawley

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Only in Philadelphia...

Recently when a group of Philly nannies were exchanging funny stories from our experiences with children, I was reminded of something that happened when I was a nanny for the "Lake" family. There were 3 children in this family, who were probably 9,7, and 4 when this incident occurred. These were very bright, creative kids who played well together. They weren't allowed to watch a lot of television, but the one show they chose to watch week after week was one of those shows where people built robots and then made them fight each other. The boys were obsessed! When they received TinkerToys for Christmas, they immediately started using them to build "robots." It wasn't long before their "robots" were ready to have a battle! "Macy," who is the oldest, used the Fisher Price cassette player (the one with the microphone) to call the play-by-play. When the arena was all set up they begged me to come play with them. I said, "Wait.. if you two are competing and Macy is the announcer - who do I get to be?" Without missing a beat Macy said, "You can be the drunk guy in the cheap seats!" I'm convinced that kids only learn this type of thing in Philadelphia....

-Charlotte Hilliker
nanny for 14 years

Friday, November 10, 2006

The B Word

My 7-year-old climbs into the car with something on her mind.
"Jenn?"
"Yup?"
She chews her bottom lip. "Well... I know you don't like to be called a babysitter. I know you're not a babysitter. But on the pick-up sheet, we have to check parent or babysitter."
"So you have to check babysitter?" I ask.
She nods vigorously. "Yes! And I told my teacher that you're not a babysitter. I told her you're my nanny. And Jenn?"
"Hm?"
Her voice drops to the level that most people use to discuss a fatal illness. "She said that they're the same thing."
I laugh. I've been taking care of this child since she was a baby. I have held her in my arms as she lay limp, burning with fever. I have cried with her over scraped knees and hurt feelings. I have had serious and meaningful discussions with her about life's most important issues, everything from why we can't see God to why we aren't going to touch the dead squirrel in the backyard. She believes what I tell her. And since she's been a baby, I have told her that nannies and babysitters are not the same thing.
A babysitter is the sweet young girl down the street who Mom and Dad hire to look after you when they go out. Her function is to keep you safe and entertained. Babysitters are fabulous, and every great nanny I know started out in that role.
But a babysitter is not a nanny. A nanny is a skilled professional who is there as a substitute parent. Not only do we keep children safe and happy. We also teach and comfort and love and make important decisions every day. We shape little minds, and we strive to provide the best possible starting point for little lives.
For me, it's completely a matter of selfishness. It really doesn't matter whether my little girl writes babysitter on her pick-up sheet at school. She and I both know that I'm an important influence in her life, and that I have a great deal of responsibilty for who she becomes as she grows. But the truth is that I want credit. I fully expect teachers and parents and the rest of this world to recognize me as someone who does a job that matters, who makes an important contribution. I don't do this because I can't do anything else. I do this because I chose it, and I want that fact to be acknowledged.
So I explain this to her in age-appropriate terms, and because she is the most brilliant and fabulous child in the history of the world, she understands.
She gets in the car the next day and says, "I told my teacher that there's a big difference between a babysitter and nanny."
"Good for you," I say. "And what did she say?"
"She didn't get it."
"That's okay," I tell her.
"Jenn?"
"Yeah?"
"I wrote nanny on the pick-up list anyway!" She gives me a big, beautiful grin that absolutely makes my week.
We exchange high-fives, sharing this connection of hearts.
I'm happy to tell you that there's a 7-year-old out there who knows what I'm talking about. Now I just have to work on that teacher...

Jennifer Ellis May
nanny for 12 years

Thursday, November 02, 2006

NANC & Nannies Helping to Shape the Future

About two years ago I was introduced to Joel* a Chicagoan with an intriguing story. Joel is a multi-million dollar businessman who is frequently named as one of the top ten entrepreneurs in the USA. Why you ask am I telling you about Joel? Well, as Joel tells it he and his twin brother Jake* were raised by their nanny, Maeve*. Joel's mother has a serious mental illness and was unable to care for her twin boys throughout their childhood. Fortunately, for this family they hired Maeve* a Nanny who took her job seriously and concentrated on providing them with the guidance and love that they so needed. Maeve died last year and when Joel and Jake were making the funeral arrangements they were amazed to be overwhelmed with requests to speak at her funeral from their childhood school & neighborhood friends. Maeve's influence and love spread beyond simply her charges. In the days following Maeve's death Joel received many cards expressing condolences. Joel said that many recounted the author's memories of Maeve helping them with their homework, turning a cooking project into a science experiment and helping the children build a treehouse. Even up to the point of her last hospitalization Maeve continued to guide and advise Joel telling him that "she didn't raise him to look like a hooligan that he needed to learn to keep his shirt tucked in"! As adults Joel & Jake would often eat dinner with Maeve and much to their chagrin she could still silence their arguments with a single raised eyebrow. Joel credits Maeve for providing the emotional stability, consistency, unconditional love & discipline that made him into the man that he is today.

While we as nanny all have different job descriptions, roles and family dynamics, what we do have in common is the opportunity to make a difference in our charge's lives. We are blessed with this chance and I know for me the single most rewarding part is that I am able to help shape young lives just as Maeve did. It is my hope that by creating a credentialing program we can truly begin to raise the bar and change the publics perception of how to define a nanny.

~Mindy Pannell
Nanny for 10 Years






*Name changed to protect identities.