Baby Nurse?

I was introduced to the world of nursery nurses a few years after I began working as a nanny. I met some Manhattan nannies and many of the households they worked in had a nursery nurse as part of the staff. I was intrigued by these women, dressed in full uniform, overseeing the nursery. Guarding the babies like a mother cub. Unlike my nanny friends whose job it was to accommodate their at-home employer, these nurses accommodated no one. They did what was best for the baby and didn’t budge if others, including the parents, balked. Ah, the confidence that comes from not needing your next paycheck.

All of the women I met were pediatric nurses who had retired from their jobs early and worked 3 or 4 months in a row so they could afford to relax for next 8 or 9 months. They were paid extremely well, often received substantial bonuses or gifts at the end of their term and had a waiting list of potential clients. Of course their formal training and years of nursing experience played a big part in that equation. Training and experience matter. I still see these types of jobs today in fully staffed households and the women that fill them are still retired nurses.

I know several nannies that have entered the nursery nurse market. While many call themselves infant specialists (the term our industry is turning towards) some fight to use the term Nursery Nurse. I believe the title should be reserved for those that have invested the time, money and effort into obtaining a nursing degree and gaining the requisite experience. Because titles do matter. That’s why nannies go crazy when an 18 year old babysitter declares herself to be a nanny. There’s a difference between nannies and babysitters and we want that difference to be recognized and acknowledged.

I’m not saying that nannies shouldn’t work as newborn caregivers. Night Nannies and Infant Specialists provide a great service to families and are a hot commodity in today’s market. I’m just saying they should take on the title that accurately represents their level of education and experience.

Lora Brawley
nanny of 18 years

How becoming a mom changed the way I nanny:

I was a full time nanny for six years before my son was born, and a part time nanny/babysitter for seven years before that. Children were always my love and my life. While other children wanted to be doctors, firefighters, ballerinas, etc. when they grew up, I always wanted to be a stay at home mom who volunteered while her kids were in school. I didn't know there were such things as nannies, but I knew the only thing that I would be happy doing is spending my days one on one with a few children at a time. I was not called to be a teacher, or work in a daycare, or to work with large groups of children. I firmly believe that my gifts are best fulfilled when I work with one or two families at a time to help raise a few precious children for a period of time. So when I moved to North Carolina 8 yrs. ago, after going to college, and found a high demand for nannies in my area, I was overjoyed.I've always considered myself a good nanny. I would connect with my charges in a special way, and take them into my heart and life. I even missed the kids on weekends and vacations. There was one special girl, who I started with when she was only 2 months old. Her mother and I became close friends, and this child became "my little girl." I am close to her to this day, and while I was her nanny I was truly her second mommy.After my son was born I had a hard time finding a nanny job. I went from being a high demand nanny to an unemployed nanny. The families I talked to did not want to hire a nanny who brought her child for a variety of reasons. Some just had too many children in the house already, and could not add to the chaos. Some feared I would not care for their child as well as I cared for my own. Some were open to me bringing my child, but wanted to cut the pay in half. And I believe some were simply jealous that I had the option of staying home with my child and still getting paid. I do not say that to be judgmental. The choice to return to work or stay home is heartbreaking to a mother, and most mother's are never fully comfortable with what they choose.But having my child with me has only deepened my love for what I do. Being a mother has touched every fiber of my being, and is the closest thing I have found to true happiness. That love and happiness overflows onto my charges. I feel everything deeper. I notice the milestones more. I pay closer attention to the little details. I have the mother instincts now, and they're tuned in to my charges as well as my own child. Safety is more important than ever to me.And I have empathy for my employers like I never had before. I understand now what it means to work all day, stay up all night with a sick child, and still have to work the next day. I can relate to the guilt and anxiety that comes with leaving your child in the hands of another. I can also understand the need be out in the world as something other than a mommy for a little while.Having a child has definitely made me a better, more empathetic nanny. And the kids enjoy having a playmate as well. I know my son loves his "big brother," and would be devastated if I switched jobs. I never planned on raising an only child, and I love that my son gets to have these "siblings."I know I am blessed to be doing exactly what I love, and getting to be with my own child at the same time. There are challenges when you can't leave your child along with your charges at the end of the day, however. Sometimes I find myself getting drained. It's then that I have to turn my son over to my husband and take some time for myself. No one can be Super Woman 24/7 all alone. We all need a little help sometimes.

Melanie Schlimm