How becoming a mom changed the way I nanny:

I was a full time nanny for six years before my son was born, and a part time nanny/babysitter for seven years before that. Children were always my love and my life. While other children wanted to be doctors, firefighters, ballerinas, etc. when they grew up, I always wanted to be a stay at home mom who volunteered while her kids were in school. I didn't know there were such things as nannies, but I knew the only thing that I would be happy doing is spending my days one on one with a few children at a time. I was not called to be a teacher, or work in a daycare, or to work with large groups of children. I firmly believe that my gifts are best fulfilled when I work with one or two families at a time to help raise a few precious children for a period of time. So when I moved to North Carolina 8 yrs. ago, after going to college, and found a high demand for nannies in my area, I was overjoyed.I've always considered myself a good nanny. I would connect with my charges in a special way, and take them into my heart and life. I even missed the kids on weekends and vacations. There was one special girl, who I started with when she was only 2 months old. Her mother and I became close friends, and this child became "my little girl." I am close to her to this day, and while I was her nanny I was truly her second mommy.After my son was born I had a hard time finding a nanny job. I went from being a high demand nanny to an unemployed nanny. The families I talked to did not want to hire a nanny who brought her child for a variety of reasons. Some just had too many children in the house already, and could not add to the chaos. Some feared I would not care for their child as well as I cared for my own. Some were open to me bringing my child, but wanted to cut the pay in half. And I believe some were simply jealous that I had the option of staying home with my child and still getting paid. I do not say that to be judgmental. The choice to return to work or stay home is heartbreaking to a mother, and most mother's are never fully comfortable with what they choose.But having my child with me has only deepened my love for what I do. Being a mother has touched every fiber of my being, and is the closest thing I have found to true happiness. That love and happiness overflows onto my charges. I feel everything deeper. I notice the milestones more. I pay closer attention to the little details. I have the mother instincts now, and they're tuned in to my charges as well as my own child. Safety is more important than ever to me.And I have empathy for my employers like I never had before. I understand now what it means to work all day, stay up all night with a sick child, and still have to work the next day. I can relate to the guilt and anxiety that comes with leaving your child in the hands of another. I can also understand the need be out in the world as something other than a mommy for a little while.Having a child has definitely made me a better, more empathetic nanny. And the kids enjoy having a playmate as well. I know my son loves his "big brother," and would be devastated if I switched jobs. I never planned on raising an only child, and I love that my son gets to have these "siblings."I know I am blessed to be doing exactly what I love, and getting to be with my own child at the same time. There are challenges when you can't leave your child along with your charges at the end of the day, however. Sometimes I find myself getting drained. It's then that I have to turn my son over to my husband and take some time for myself. No one can be Super Woman 24/7 all alone. We all need a little help sometimes.

Melanie Schlimm