Friday, August 24, 2007

Nanny Diaries

I first became a nanny at the end of 1991. Moving from small-town Michigan to a suburb of Manhattan was certainly a shock, but what was even more shocking was the whole nanny culture. When I made the decision to become a nanny, I wasn't even sure what one was. Some friends who had graduated with teaching degrees learned that they could make quite a bit more nannying than they could teaching, so they packed up and headed east. I followed a few months after. My parents thought it was a scam for sure. "These people are going to let you live in their house AND eat their food AND drive their car AND pay you - all for babysitting?!?" Apparently they were.

I soon realized that being a nanny was not the same as being a babysitter. I met other nannies in my area, who took me under their wing and showed me what a difference I could make in the life of my charge. I couldn't believe how many nannies there were! They were from all over the world and from many varying backgrounds. They gently guided me and taught me to plan outings and activities to stimulate and socialize the baby. I soon felt a passion growing for my job. I could do this - and I could do it well.

When The Hand That Rocks the Cradle was released in January of 1992 I had been a nanny for two months. A few nannies that I had met through my placement agency made a date to attend as a group. At dinner afterwards, we discussed the film. A few of the women stated how nervous they were about the movie. They were worried that it would portray nannies in a bad way, and not give enough credit for the jobs that we do. I remember thinking that they were a little crazy. After all, it was just a movie. No one was actually going to believe that all nannies were like this. Then the media got ahold of it. Soon stories of horror at the hands of nannies were on the news nightly. People were anxious to make it sound like they had lived through similar situations. Now when I talked to friends from college and told them what I was doing with my life, I had to hear, "Oh. Are you sleeping with the husband? Have you killed anyone?" Ha. It got old very quickly.

Tonight we are going as a group to see The Nanny Diaries. In fact, groups from all across the country are planning to go. I have read the book and am not expecting people to come out of the movie extolling the virtues of nannies. I do, however, hope that it portrays us in a more positive light. Instead of painting nannies as sex-starved lunatics, this story seems to be told more from the nanny's point of view. I'm sure that it will be sensationalized a bit for the movie. A movie depicting my life as a nanny might be amusing at times... but it certainly wouldn't make an engrossing film. Oh well. Let's be honest - we're all really going for the popcorn anyway.
-Charlotte Hilliker from Pa

1 comment:

tumbleweed said...

Hi ya,

I just came across your site by accident after watching The Nanny Diaries.

I must say, I am completely shocked that no one out there in internet land is mentioning the whole "this is not what I wanted for you..." comment from the "nanny's" mom... i.e portraying being a nanny as some sort of lower class job, not a "real" career and as they said numerous times in the movie "career path."

This disheartened me.

Although I am no longer a nanny and actually now living my life as a full-time singer-songwriter - I am a past full-time, part-time, live-in, live-out, on call, on schedule, on vacation - 24 hours a day at times, professional nanny.

I have worked for the wealthiest out there in San Francisco, along with a few famous people.

I know I am not telling you anything new here by saying that this particular portrayal of being a nanny WAS in fact portraying nannies in a bad light. If not downright dumbing nannies down as if it's some sort of last resort job, desperate work to get through etc etc...
And I know I don't need to go on about the millions of nannies (of course here included) that are in fact professional nannies and like me, are extremely qualified and sometimes, working for very affluent families making great salaries, living wonderful lives.

I also say this because when I was in full bloom - living in an apt. downstairs from the mansion - in San Francisco, I was to this day, at my happiest, making more money than I ever have and yes, upon talking with friends working downtown, in cubbies and offices and making perhaps even more than me - being cornered for any info I could give them on how THEY too could get a nanny "gig."

These were also girls that attended fancy colleges, got big fat degrees and whose parents would probably also have something to say about it.

When I first heard about the book The Nanny Diaries, I was just finishing up with what turned out to be my last nanny job. A five year live-in job in San Francisco, CA that by far outweighs any experience an early twenty-something can write about after a mere 3 months (if that!) as a "nanny."
And I put quotes because that word should not be taken lightly. Perhaps she babysat for a summer and indeed raised someones child or children for a whole 3 months - but please, that is a far cry from the real nannies that even if didn't or don't dedicate their lives to the profession, see it as just that. Not just some summer gig while going through a life change.

I cringed when I heard of the book, I cringed when I heard of the movie. I just saw it and despite enjoying aspects of it and yes, admittedly at times enjoying Hollywood-type movies - I cringed as I watched a movie inspired by two girls that have no idea what they are talking about.

I wish I had written a book about the life of a professional nanny. Wait, it's never too late. Although I doubt Hollywood would REALLY want to know. It's nowhere near as adaptable for screen.