What to get your employers?

At this time of year many articles pop up online and spots on tv about holiday tipping and what parents should do for their children's caregivers. But a much trickier question (for me especially since I am a nanny!) is what to get for your employers! The first gifts are fairly easy. What parent doesn't love framed photos of their kids? However, how many framed photos can you give before it just seems unimaginative? And it is hard because let's face it- these families have more disposable income than us.

Creativity must then rule the gift process. And I have also found that it is wise to think of things that are a bit outside the box.

Here are a few suggestions...... but please feel free to add your own!
1. A calendar with the kids photos- make this one a tradition if you haven't already!
2. Coupons for babysitting time
3. Volunteer to do a favor around the house (like organize a closet or make back up disks of photos)
4. Write a letter sharing some of the reasons they are great parents and employers
5. Cook some dinners and put them in the freezer
6. A gift certificate to their favorite restaurant
7. Check out sites like Shutterfly.com or Snapfish.com for photo gifts like mugs, mouse pads etc..
8. A plant
9. A holiday centerpiece with place card holders
10. A family movie package (a dvd of a family favorite, with popcorn bowl, popcorn, candy etc..)
11. a kids growth chart they can hang on the wall

What are your best employer gift ideas?

A letter to our members

Dear NANC member:

We started NANC with one basic idea, that every child deserves a quality caregiver. We wanted to make sure that every nanny placed in a home has access to high quality continuing education, professional resources and that there is are standards to which we are all held accountable. We have been successful in many respects so far. We have held a professional conference, NANNYPALOOZA for 4 years which has drawn nannies and agency owners from all over the US. It offers high quality training- affordable for all. We have continued to put together a newsletter that informs nannies, parents, business owners and all who believe that in home care for a child doesn't just mean babysitting. We have developed resources for parents on choosing a nanny, an agency and the like. We are reaching out into the world to find nannies who are not connected, offering them support. Most importantly, we have developed the 3 tier nanny credential. This credential is based on childcare industry standards and is comprehensive in scope so that it will have a meaning far beyond our profession.

But we find we are at a bit of a crossroads. Like many volunteer organizations, the work we do is our passion. And we are searching for others who share this passion. There is much to do. 

In order to move forward, we must take a step back and reevaluate our goals and our immediate needs. It is essential to strengthen our organizational structure in order to support the credential and the other important work we do. We know there are many willing hands out there and we will be taking a new approach to putting those talented and passionate people to work for NANC. 

NANC will use 2010 to focus on leadership and membership development. We have streamlined our goals, focusing on the ones directly related to strengthening and growing our organization, to ensure that we have the foundation and leadership necessary to successfully develop and maintain our 3 tier credential.  We’ve created a list of actionable tasks so that we can use YOUR talents to achieve our collective objective. We will be announcing these priority goals and tasks along with some VERY EXCITING NEWS regarding Nannypalooza 2010 in a conference call presentation on Sunday, December 13th at 8:30 PM EST. At this time we will post information on the website to download and present the information over the computer or phone. You will be able to take some time over the holidays to consider our shared goals and decide how you’d like to support NANC.   This group is YOUR group and only YOUR commitment to share your time and talents will move us forward.  We will record the conference call so you can listen at your convenience.   

After the holidays we will have another follow up call where you can ask questions and get clarification on any points. And as always Lora and I are available via email for your input. 

We hope that by mid January we will be able to announce our new leadership, the details of our new direction and the specific tasks we’ll undertake in the new year.  This is your chance to make a difference and guide the direction our profession will take in the future.  There are a variety of levels of commitment and I urge everyone to dial into the call or download it after so that you can be involved. 

We look forward to speaking to you this Sunday, December 13th at 8:30 PM EST. Please call in to the following number- 206-701-8388 and input code # 600622. Again, this call will be taped and posted along with some printed material on our website on Monday, December 14th. 

Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. 
Margaret Mead

Lora Brawley

Sue Downey

Tis the season

Tis the season we think of others,

Mothers, daughters, daddies, brothers.

But what of the person who keeps us in line,

Who drives kids to school, and shows up on time. 

What of our friend who plays some fun games?

Who teaches us math and how to spell our names? 

A nanny is one who cares for us all

Is there a special gift for her at the mall? 

What gift could show her how much we care?

How important she is and would keep her aware,

That we appreciate her every single day,

As mom and dad often must be away!

We want to spoil her and show our affection

We just need a little direction. 

There are many options from which you can choose

Here is a list, chose one and you won’t lose! 

Enjoy your holidays, avoid all the stress

And remember your nanny because she is the best! 

**A cash bonus, for a full time nanny one week’s pay is a generally accepted norm 

(note: nannies like most employees look forward to a holiday bonus and nannies will discuss their bonuses with friends. If you love your nanny and want to keep her happy, this is an investment in your relationship.)

Gift nannies love to receive:

1. A day or a half day off 
2. A spa certificate
3. Frequent flier or credit card points for holiday travel
4. A letter of thanks from you
5. A letter of thanks from your kids
6. A framed photo of her and the kids
7. Membership to NANC, INA, NAEYC
8. Magazine subscription to her favorite magazine
9. I-tunes gift certificates
10.  Extra money in petty cash so she can do some fun things with the kids
11.  Supplies for her favorite craft
12.  A donation to her favorite charity
13.  A list of 25 or 50 reasons she is the best nanny
14.  A short video of the kids talking about all the things she does for them
15.  Visa or Mastercard gift cards 
16.  Extra time off at the holidays
17.  a percentage of your holiday bonus - you can’t succeed without her
18.  Massage or mani/pedi coupons
19.  Gas cards or gift cards to her favorite restaurant
20.   Money toward attending a conference  
21.  Pay her cell phone bill for a month or a year
22.  Gym memberships
23.  Something from their amazon.com wishlist
24.  Pay for a class for her hobby, i.e. a photography or cooking class
25.  A coupon for their birthday off work
26.  A t-shirt with the kids handprints on it
27.  Gift certificate to Starbucks or a favorite restaurant 
28.  An ipod 
29.  A calendar with the kids photos on it
30.  Notes from the kids about all the fun things they did with your nanny this year

Waiting

Patience is a hard thing to teach. This time of year especially, there is quite a bit to get ready for, things to wait for and look forward to! But there are teachable moments no matter what holidays your kids are celebrating! Counting down the days with an advent calendar is a time honored tradition for those who celebrate Christmas. Here are some ways to twist this tradition slightly to create some great memories and teach some lessons to your kids!

1. A waiting chain! We used paper strips cut about 1 1/2 inches wide in alternating colors (red and green, blue and white) to count the days until the holiday! It can also be used to count down days to a birthday or other big event. Make one strip for each day from now until the big day and make a simple paper chain. Each day you can rip off one of the links. This is a great visual way to show the passage of time and to build and manage excitement. Want to make it even more meaningful? Try writing a little something for the family to do on each link before connecting them. Things like:

• sing a carol or other happy song out loud
• clean your room to get ready
• clean out the toy room and donate old toys to a shelter
• make a bird feeder to give back to nature
• do something nice for someone today without being asked 
• tell someone today a nice compliment
• write a note to someone you have not seen in a long time
• bake cookies
• try a new holiday craft today
• jump up and down and yell hooray to celebrate another day closer
• hug someone every hour today
• call someone who lives far away from you and have a chat

You get the idea and you can modify and think of more things to do to get ready for the holidays! 

2. Have a jar of jobs. Want some things done around the house before the holidays. Create a job jar and have the kids choose a job from the jar each day. Fill a jar with slips of paper that have the jobs written on them- things like cleaning their rooms, helping with baking, wrapping gifts or whatever. On the other side of the jobs, you can write an amount that the job is worth. Then as the kids earn money they can make a gift list of family to buy for. They will really think very hard about what to give people when they are earning the money themselves! Or if you want have another treat on the other side of their job, things like watching a holiday video, getting computer time or having a holiday treat! 

3. Put a white piece of paper up on the wall in the kitchen- poster size! Grab some markers and each morning have the kids write something they are thankful for, or some achievement or moment from the last year that they want to highlight! Try to fill the paper up before January 1st! Then use the paper to cut up and make New Year's confetti! This is a great way to focus on accomplishments and celebrations from the past year! 

There are hundreds of ideas of activities for this time of year.... feel free to share your own ideas!!! 

Online Nanny Sites--Parents, what should you look for?

So you have decided as a parent to look for a nanny using an online site. What should you look for?

• Cost of information- make sure you know how much you will have to pay and what information you will get for your money. Some sites will offer you a free preview, but the important nanny resume info will cost you. Also pay attention to how you make contact with the nanny- phone, interview or do you go through the site?
• What information will you get? Will you be provided with references, work history, just the nuts and bolts of a standard job application? Or will you have access to statements from the nanny about their childcare philosophy, experiences, viewpoints and preferences?
• Does the site have a large database of nannies in your area? 
• Are there helpful resources available on the website? Do they have interview questions and tips, salary guidelines, nanny contracts, and other information that you can access for your membership fee? This information is SO valuable especially if you are hiring a nanny for the first time. 
• Do they provide background checking? This is almost always at an additional fee. No two background checks are the same so be sure to find out what is included. You will want to make sure you are checking things out nationally and not just in the current city or state the candidate is living in. 
• Watch out for the term "prescreening". This has vastly different meanings with each different site. Make sure you know what this term means for the specific sites you are using. You will have to do reference checking and background checking yourself when you use an online site to really screen a candidate.  
• Is the site a nanny site? Or does it post jobs for any types of employment? This can affect the amount of time it will take to identify qualified caregivers. 
• Is it easy to use? Can you post all the relevant information about your position including living arrangements, pets, complete job description and the kind of caregiver you are looking for? Are you able to include some personality information about you and your family? Remember a good nanny relationship is based on mutual fit. Both you and your nanny will be interviewing each other! 

The most important thing to remember when searching online for a nanny is that it is an active process. You will be doing the work of a whole agency yourself so be sure you have a plan and ask lots of questions, both of the websites and the nannies you interview!

Online Nanny Sites- Nannies, what should you look for?

Are you a nanny searching for a family? Perhaps you have registered with a traditional agency, but now want to expand your search. Online nanny sites have many benefits for nannies but be careful how you search! Some questions to ask:

• How big is the current family database in my area? Sites often have thousands of jobs but are they close to you? 
• What information are you required to give? What information will families have access to? Many sites require you to give references, personal info etc.. but will not allow families to see this info unless you give your permission. 
• What information will the site prescreen? Will they check your references or run a background check prior to putting your profile up on a site? 
• How will families be contacting you? via email or phone or through the site itself? 
• What information about families will you be given? Is it just nuts and bolts stuff like salary, hours, ages of kids or will there be more extensive info on family personality, job description and additional compensation? 
• Does the site have additional resources you can access such as interview tips, nanny contract information, etc..? Does the site seem nanny friendly and supportive? 
• Does the site belong to NANC or INA? Does the site seem nanny oriented or is it for all kinds of jobs? Do they support nannies by sponsoring training, conferences, support groups or any other means? 
• How long will your resume be posted? Do the family postings seem current and up to date? 
• Does the site give parents salary guidelines and do they fit into the salary range you are looking for? Does the site give parents advice and do you agree with what they are advising parents? Parents will view these sites as "experts" so what the sites tell employers will likely affect their opinions. 
• Finally is the site easy to use? Can you access the job database easily and search for jobs in ways that make sense to you (i.e. by geographic area, salary range, type of position)? Is the site organized in a way that makes sense to you? 

It is very important to remember that in any job search, but particularly when you are using online job sites, YOU MUST BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE. Make sure you are following basic internet safety rules when contacting families and be super cautious about giving out your information. Searching for a job online takes a lot more time and requires that you really look at searching for a job as a job in itself. 

Online Nanny Sites -- Are they for you?

Online nanny search websites are here to stay. In this economy they seem to be experiencing a boom in business. There are so many new sites popping up every day it can be confusing. And more and more nannies seem to be flocking to these sites as parents look to them to save a little money in the nanny search process.

It is important to know that while these sites have become more popular, they are still not the same as a traditional brick and mortar agency. The reason these sites are less expensive is that they offer less service. If you are a parent and you are hiring from an online site, you are going to have to do much more of the legwork for your search yourself. This does not only mean a background search and interview, it also includes prescreening candidates, gathering and checking references, clearly defining the contract and job description and more. And you are doing this on your own, with few resources and no experienced person to hold your hand through the process. If you are uncomfortable with the thought of this, you should look into a traditional agency. However, if you are willing to make your nanny search your job for awhile, then online sites can provide you with all kinds of great candidates.

And nannies, online sites are booming with jobs these days. But just like parents, you will need to do more of the legwork yourself than if you had registered with brick and mortar agencies. You will have to make more calls to prospective families, screen out families with "dealbreakers" and search out families that are in your pay grade. Be sure to be safe! Be cautious about information you post online and make sure you are not visiting a family for the first time in their home. Meet in a public place first- or at least make sure you have people who know where you are.

Next post we will talk about what to look for in an online site and start the discussion on what the best practices of online sites should be!

Nanny Care Worth the Investment

The economy has changed things for nannies. Many nannies are finding it hard to find jobs, and especially higher paying jobs. But do you go into the interview and really identify why you are worth the higher salary? Do you know why nanny care is worth the investment?

Nanny care is worth the investment.

• Studies show that early attachments with a consistent caregiver provide children can positively affect kids later social/emotional development. Kids with consistent quality care have better relationships, find it easier to express their emotions and even can preform better in school.
• Kids in daycare have higher rates of childhood illnesses such as ear infections, colds and even the flu.
• Children's brain development is at its peak from ages 0-6. It is essential that kids get the proper stimulation at these ages. Neural pathways can be lost forever if not stimulated at early stages.
• Teenagers go through some of the same developmental struggles as toddlers- the search for independence, the struggle between what I want to do and what I can do, the need for lots of sleep and rapid growth spurts. It is essential to recognize and help children through both of these turbulent periods.
• Nanny care provides parents with an in house expert and support.
• Nanny care can also provide household support, help with errands, light housekeeping, laundry, management issues and scheduling. This frees parents to spend more quality time with their children. While hard to quantify, parent involvement does have a huge influence in raising a healthy, happy, successful child.

I found articles and proof for all of these statements and more in a few minutes with a google search. Make sure you are armed with your facts as you renegotiate your raise or search for a new job. Nanny care is worth the investment.

A nanny is a true innovator!

When you are on the front lines with kids you have to be able to keep thinking. It really brings new meanings to the term "be on your toes". There are thousands of books, hundreds of experts, and countless sources to find new solutions for kids. But the one thing I have learned in my 15 or so years is that no two kids, really no two families are alike which means you always have to be a creative problem solver.

Enter my current situation with a 10 year old charge. He is entering into that hormone induced, moody, pre teen stage that no one warns you about. Oh, I know teenagers can be rough, but I find the transition to be even tougher. I have been down this road before, the advantage of being a nanny is that you do see these things over and over, so I know the drill. I have read the advice and studied up on current theory. We try to set fair limits. We give him some space. We teach him alternatives. We reason with him. Still his grumpy, sassy, angry behavior was driving me crazy!

So I made him grumpy coupons this week. Simple pieces of paper that say "I am in a bad mood, please leave me alone" and I told him he could use these when he was angry for no good reason. I then gave him some parameters, like he had to still treat people with respect, he had to be ready to go on time to activities, and he could not use these coupons during holidays and family obligations. The piece of paper was just a different way for him to communicate how he was feeling, and gave him a nicer, and somewhat humorous way to to ask to be left alone.

I don't know if they will work, but he did say thanks for them. He now is thinking about how to solve the problem instead of fighting against me.

I know lots of nannies who are creative problem solvers like this. You have to constantly be thinking of new ways to approach the situations that crop up. It is the most exciting part of the job really, that there are always challenges to face.

The rollercoaster!

A friend of mine just posted to her facebook status....

Really need to get OFF the roller coaster.......I'm on the AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH part......not the WWWEEEEEEEEEEE part!

How many of us feel like we are on the aahhh! part. With schedules and meetings, with temper tantrums and parent issues, with cooking and cleaning, life can often feel like an uphill climb with rapid descents into craziness. But we are so lucky! Nannies get to work with kids. And the beauty of that is that while they are often the cause of those AAHHH moments, they also can change things on a dime and get you to the WHEEEE. Kids can hug you, say something funny, or be unexpectedly sweet and change the whole course of the day. People who work in offices don't get that kind of quick turn. The unpredictable can be frustrating but it is never boring. EVER! If you are having a boring day with kids you are not really engaged.

To paraphrase the movie Parenthood- some people in life choose the merry go round, but if you are a parent (or a nanny) you have chosen the roller coaster. The roller coaster is more fun- you don't go anywhere on a merry go round.

The Wheee part will be coming. Just enjoy it as it happens.

Free training opportunity online!

Thanks to Lisa Werth for sharing this!

ChildCare Education Institute is committed to providing relevant and up-to date online coursework that enriches early childhood professionals and the care provided to children.

October 5 - 9, 2009 is Step Up for Kids Week, a nationwide event focused on bringing attention to the care and education of America's children. In honor of this event, CCEI is giving child care staff access to its professional development library at no cost*. (Promotion ends October 9, 2009 and applies to professional development courses only. Students with current, individual professional development subscriptions are not eligible. Courses are limited to 6 per day.)

CCEI's online professional development library includes over 100 courses, covering topics such as: Child Development, Classroom Management, Curriculum, Guidance and Discipline, Health and Safety, and other topics pertinent to the child care industry. Each completed one hour course is awarded 0.1 IACET CEU and may articulate to college credit. Students can print their certificates of completion immediately following course completion.

"Step Up for Kids Week is an opportunity for CCEI to recognize and reward early childhood professionals, teachers, center directors and staff for the valuable role they play in the development of children. We hope educators will use this opportunity for continuing education to enhance their knowledge base, which enhances the quality of care given to children," said Maria C. Taylor, President and CEO.

Take advantage of this great opportunity to experience the benefits of online learning and gain valuable knowledge about early childhood education. To enroll, visit www.cceionline.com and select 'Click Here for Current Promotions' for detailed instructions on registering for the Step Up for Kids Week Promotion.

The most wonderful time of the year....

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Can you hear the song and see the commercial where the dad is dancing through Staples? Back to school time is great for some nannies and difficult for others whose work hours and responsibilities may change. Still other nannies have kids too young for school so all this excitement passes them by.

After living so many years in the school calendar though, the thing about September is that it really is the START of the year for me. I started my last 4 jobs in September. It just feels like the beginning for me, even when I have charges too young to go off to school.

Once school starts it is a great time to sit down and speak with your employers. See where they are with the way things are going. What goals do you share for the kids this school year? After the long days of summer it feels good to get back to a schedule, a routine and some structure.

September is a great time to re evaluate your goals. Look over those new year's resolutions and see if you have achieved what you set out to do. If not, you still have time. Do some self evaluation and figure out where you can improve and pat yourself on the back for the things you are doing well.

What is it really that you hope to accomplish in '09-'10 ?

AU Pair vs. Nanny Care

In today’s difficult economic climate, families choosing in-home childcare are taking a closer look at their nanny v. au pair option. Several recent articles have spotlighted the recent changes in-home care market, noting the tougher sell highly paid nannies are facing and the growing number of au pairs being placed in the United States.

It’s tempting to be swayed by the cost savings of hiring an au pair but families should do their homework and really think about what option will work best for their family.

Although nannies and au pairs are often portrayed as different sides of the same coin, with au pairs being a less expensive, foreign version of the American nanny, there are substantial differences between the two. Lora Brawley, President of the National Association for Nanny Care said, “Both nanny care and au pair care provide quality childcare. The big difference lies in the focus. Nanny care’s primary focus is childcare while au pair care’s primary focus is cultural exchange. Nannies take a nanny job to earn a living doing something they love and are passionate about. Au pairs take a placement because they want to experience the world and are happy to pay for that experience by providing childcare. One isn’t inherently better than the other. But these two different perspectives result in two very different experiences for the caregivers and the families they work with.”

Host families that participate in the au pair program are required to provide a home environment for their au pairs and treat them as a member of the family. Parents are required to provide au pairs with educational and cultural opportunities, private room and board, $500 educational stipend, 2 weeks paid vacation, at least one full weekend off per month and a weekly stipend of around $180 per week.

In exchange, au pairs provide up to 10 hours of childcare each day or 45 hours of childcare each week. Au pairs are not allowed to do family-related or household management tasks such as family laundry, family meal preparation or taking a family car in for service.

In contrast, families choosing nanny care are employers. They decide on the details of the job and then hire a caregiver able to fill those needs. There are no parameters placed on the length of employment, number of hours, the responsibilities or the type of relationship between caregiver

and parent. One of the biggest selling points of nanny care is that parents get to customize their childcare / household solution.

So which is the better choice? That depends upon your family’s personality, lifestyle, needs and offerings.

Au pair care might be a great choice for your family if you…

• are excited about opening up your home and lives to a young adult and happy to support their interest in cultural and educational opportunities.

• are committed to embracing the au pair as “part of the family”. Although au pair agencies do provide au pairs with some support and social interaction, it’s the host family’s responsibility to make the newcomer feel welcomed and supported throughout their time here. Host families are asked to share family meals, activities and vacations with their au pair as they would a visiting family member.

• simply need a “second pair of hands”. Since au pairs can only work up to 45 hours a week and can only be given limited tasks they are best suited for parents that work a part-time schedule, a light, flexible full-time schedule or who need before / after school help.

• want your children to be exposed to another language and culture through first-hand experiences with a foreign national.

• value the opportunity for your children to connect with many caregivers over the years.

However, nanny care would be the best choice for you if…

• you have an infant or toddler. Au pairs are not allowed to care for infants without a responsible adult present and must receive additional training to care for toddlers.

• your child has special needs. Au pairs are not allowed to work with even high functioning children with special needs.

• you need childcare more than 45 hour per week. Add up working hours,commute time and any additional time like date night or client dinners to get an accurate estimate of how much childcare you really need.

• you want long term, consistent care. While having a nanny doesn’t guarantee this, having an au pair guarantees against this. Effective screening can help you find a caregiver that’s in it for the long haul and will work well with your family as it changes over the years.

• you’re looking for a higher level of care. In general, a well trained au pair offers the same level of care an entry level nanny does. While this is a perfect match for some families, many other families are looking for a caregiver with more education, more experience or a stronger skill set.

• you’re looking for a household partner that will help you take care of the details of day to day life – grocery shopping, family laundry, errands, calling the repairman, fill-in-the-blank - leaving you the time and energy to enjoy your kids.

Whether you choose nanny care or au pair care, become an educated consumer before paying any fees or making any placement choices. The safety and well being of your children are well worth the time and energy needed to make the right choice.

- from our newsletter July 2009

a 3rd parent?

I have to start this post by saying, this is not the official position of NANC. This is my opinion and I am not proposing that you will agree. It is simply the way I look at it.

Ok- in trying to define what a "nanny" is many people say they are the third parent. This bothers me for some reason. I am not a parent. Don't get me wrong, these kids are mine. But I do not let them call me mom. I know some nannies who do. I know some nannies feel that they are the third parent and I respect many of these nannies and the work they do. But I don't want to be a parent. I feel that as nannies we are a part of the team- but the buck stops with the parents. Sometimes the parents are wrong. Really wrong. But we despite all our best efforts and training, parents are going to make mistakes with their kids. It has happened since the beginning of time. And while I do not believe in being silent about my opinion that is based on years of training and experience, here is the thing, sometimes I am wrong too. So when all is said and done, the parents have the ultimate say.

I am willing to be...

and advocate for the children

a friend to the children

a listener

a teacher

a driver

a cook

a guidance counselor

sometimes even a maid

but I am not willing to be a parent. A child needs their parents.

And let's face it- as much as I would want to stay, there is going to be a day when I must leave. It is better to say good bye to a nanny than to say good bye to a parent.

I know there are many full charge nannies who will not agree. And that is good as there are parents out there who want to "hand over the keys" as it were and let the nannies drive. Maybe these nannies are more like parents. But I still struggle with that way of defining ourselves.

What do you think?

-Sue Downey

delicate moments

All nannies have them. 

• You walk into the kitchen in the morning and you can feel the chill in the air. Mom is not talking to Dad and everyone is being extra nice to the kids. 
  
• Or you call Mom and she obviously has not talked to Dad about something important and now you are left breaking the news. 
  
• Or Grandma comes to visit and she does not know many things about how the home is run. You are the listening post as she complains about how Mom and Dad do things. 
  

These are just a few of those situations. There are so many more. And as a live in, the awkward moments can be pretty intense. I have had conversations with Mom's who are blow drying their hair in a bra. Not your usual workplace scenario. 

Nannies work in private homes. We are family, but not family. We are employees, but so much more. These situations are not ones you can take a class to learn about. And really there are no rules when it comes to dealing with them. I struggle with these kinds of situations all the time and I have been in the biz for more than 15 years. Like so much about our jobs, these delicate situations are so uniquely personal to the families and so intensely PRIVATE there is no where to go for advice. So how do you cope? Are there any hard and fast rules for these "delicate moments?"

feel free to share... but please do not post any specifics or names!! 

The words we choose

Most nannies at one point or another say the phrase..

"Watch your language!" 

Usually we are dealing with an attitude filled pre teen, or perhaps a toddler talking back. Children strive for independence and language is a tool that they wield powerfully, but sometimes inappropriately. 

Yet effective language is a tool that we as nannies do not often pull out of our arsenal when working with our employers. 

All too often nannies complain of a being treated unprofessionally. Some nannies are micromanaged, or treated like babysitters just there to keep the kid safe until mom and dad get home. And while this is fine for many caregivers, most nannies are much more than that to the children they care for. We plan activities, stimulate language, develop motor skills. We worry about socialization, brain development, and teaching kids manners, responsibility. Not to mention the ABC's, state capitals and the life of an average garden worm. We are educators. 

But when parents arrive home, do we say, "Today I provided stimulation for your infant's social emotional skills by playing peek a boo. We also went outside where we enjoyed some tactile stimulation. I developed his sense of attachment and well being by keeping him on schedule and cuddling him after his nap. And I made sure that he was provided with the proper fats in his diet to help develop his myelin sheath which is so important for his neurons." 

Well of course not, as that would be quite a mouth full every day! But do you use terms like "emotional development, tactile stimulation, attachment"? Do you explain to parents in some way the importance of the play dates you schedule for your 3 year old? Do you discuss brain development, or learning styles? Do you share professional articles and resources that you spend time studying? 

Nannies often ask me what they can do when a parent doesn't listen to them. Nothing. Well, almost nothing. You can't make someone listen to you. But you can in fact, keep altering the WAY you speak to the parents so that they will perhaps HEAR you. Use those professional words whenever you can. Write out a lesson plan or a daily journal and EXPLAIN in educational terms what you are doing and why. The words we choose make a difference. Not only will your employers begin to treat you more professionally, but you will also be sharing your knowledge with them and that is great for those charges you love so much! 

Planning for Nannypalooza

Nannypalooza 09 will be held in Washington DC. We made this change due to overwhelming feedback that to keep it in Philly year after year was "boring" and "not fair". I had some misgivings about planning a conference when I could not go and see things for myself. I live in the Philly area and so it was easy for me to drive to check out hotels and to connect with speakers etc.. 

So this weekend I made the trip down to Bethesda to check out what we are now committed to. First stop - our new conference center. We found REALLY great rates with a much more reasonable guarantee policy at the 4H conference center. This center used to be used for 4H groups to come and have retreats, meetings, etc.. Now with 4H more spread out all over the country, the center is available for other groups to use. It is a beautiful campus. Driving in, you feel as though you are heading onto a small, college campus. There is plenty of FREE parking around the back of the main building. Then you enter and go upstairs to the main foyer of the building. This is where we will probably have registration. 

Our main room is right off the lobby. Then we will have 2 breakout rooms and a larger room for vendors down the hallway and in a more private area. There are large couches to relax on and plenty of space to socialize. The center also has a recreation area/game room with computers, air hockey, vending machines, a large tv and couches in the basement. This will be a great space to chat with friends. (it feels a little like your parents' rec room!) There is WIFI access throughout the center. 

Breakfasts will be offered in the cafeteria which is a short walk across the driveway from the main building where we will be. The cafeteria is huge and has so many choices for foods. They have a waffle bar!! 

It was a great space and will be a great fit for OUR conference. It is not fancy, but it is nice. It is relaxed and not at all stuffy. It has a youthful vibe but does not feel like Chuck E Cheese! And most of all there is plenty of space for us! 

Check back for info on Bethesda and the Doubletree Hotel!!