Ok- in trying to define what a "nanny" is many people say they are the third parent. This bothers me for some reason. I am not a parent. Don't get me wrong, these kids are mine. But I do not let them call me mom. I know some nannies who do. I know some nannies feel that they are the third parent and I respect many of these nannies and the work they do. But I don't want to be a parent. I feel that as nannies we are a part of the team- but the buck stops with the parents. Sometimes the parents are wrong. Really wrong. But we despite all our best efforts and training, parents are going to make mistakes with their kids. It has happened since the beginning of time. And while I do not believe in being silent about my opinion that is based on years of training and experience, here is the thing, sometimes I am wrong too. So when all is said and done, the parents have the ultimate say.
I am willing to be...
and advocate for the children
a friend to the children
a listener
a teacher
a driver
a cook
a guidance counselor
sometimes even a maid
but I am not willing to be a parent. A child needs their parents.
And let's face it- as much as I would want to stay, there is going to be a day when I must leave. It is better to say good bye to a nanny than to say good bye to a parent.
I know there are many full charge nannies who will not agree. And that is good as there are parents out there who want to "hand over the keys" as it were and let the nannies drive. Maybe these nannies are more like parents. But I still struggle with that way of defining ourselves.
What do you think?
-Sue Downey
No comments:
Post a Comment