The B Word

My 7-year-old climbs into the car with something on her mind.
"Jenn?"
"Yup?"
She chews her bottom lip. "Well... I know you don't like to be called a babysitter. I know you're not a babysitter. But on the pick-up sheet, we have to check parent or babysitter."
"So you have to check babysitter?" I ask.
She nods vigorously. "Yes! And I told my teacher that you're not a babysitter. I told her you're my nanny. And Jenn?"
"Hm?"
Her voice drops to the level that most people use to discuss a fatal illness. "She said that they're the same thing."
I laugh. I've been taking care of this child since she was a baby. I have held her in my arms as she lay limp, burning with fever. I have cried with her over scraped knees and hurt feelings. I have had serious and meaningful discussions with her about life's most important issues, everything from why we can't see God to why we aren't going to touch the dead squirrel in the backyard. She believes what I tell her. And since she's been a baby, I have told her that nannies and babysitters are not the same thing.
A babysitter is the sweet young girl down the street who Mom and Dad hire to look after you when they go out. Her function is to keep you safe and entertained. Babysitters are fabulous, and every great nanny I know started out in that role.
But a babysitter is not a nanny. A nanny is a skilled professional who is there as a substitute parent. Not only do we keep children safe and happy. We also teach and comfort and love and make important decisions every day. We shape little minds, and we strive to provide the best possible starting point for little lives.
For me, it's completely a matter of selfishness. It really doesn't matter whether my little girl writes babysitter on her pick-up sheet at school. She and I both know that I'm an important influence in her life, and that I have a great deal of responsibilty for who she becomes as she grows. But the truth is that I want credit. I fully expect teachers and parents and the rest of this world to recognize me as someone who does a job that matters, who makes an important contribution. I don't do this because I can't do anything else. I do this because I chose it, and I want that fact to be acknowledged.
So I explain this to her in age-appropriate terms, and because she is the most brilliant and fabulous child in the history of the world, she understands.
She gets in the car the next day and says, "I told my teacher that there's a big difference between a babysitter and nanny."
"Good for you," I say. "And what did she say?"
"She didn't get it."
"That's okay," I tell her.
"Jenn?"
"Yeah?"
"I wrote nanny on the pick-up list anyway!" She gives me a big, beautiful grin that absolutely makes my week.
We exchange high-fives, sharing this connection of hearts.
I'm happy to tell you that there's a 7-year-old out there who knows what I'm talking about. Now I just have to work on that teacher...

Jennifer Ellis May
nanny for 12 years